I’m late. I’m rarely late. But today, I’m late. Late by precisely 36 days. This blog should have been started on August 8th, my 24th Birthday. If I had started this blog on August 8th, you would have been impressed. You would have thought, “Wow, how punctual. I’m very, very impressed.” Or at least the variation of ‘you’ in my head would respond that way. But now, under these circumstances (these 36-days-late circumstances) the variation of ‘you’ is not impressed. It is, in fact, disappointed.
It gets more disappointing when you discover that this blog is not a great idea. It is not terribly unique. It does not come equipped with a convenient and digestible theme. This blog is just about me. Me, who is already 36 days late and me, who is not particularly extraordinary.
I’m a white girl from Southern California. I went to a public high school and then a private liberal arts college in upstate New York. I took writing workshops with fabulous professors and was afforded every opportunity a private college can buy. I am bred of upper-middle class parents who both have advanced degrees, in law and international relations respectively. I have one sister, a dog, and a swimming pool and was raised (partially) by a Hispanic nanny. I’m half-Catholic, half-Jewish and make a mean apple pie.
When exposed blandly on paper, I’m actually pretty typical, pretty un-extra-ordinary. That being said, there are a few notable differences between me and a ‘typical person’ that I’d like to point out:
I can say ‘vegetarian’ in thirteen different languages and know where all the ‘In n’ Outs’ are off of the I-5 freeway. I’ve worked with HIV+ orphans in East Africa and with high-powered divas at a fashion magazine in NYC. I befriended a fifth-generation cheese maker in rural Sicily and know how to make ricotta from scratch. I am a sex educator and sexual health columnist who can tell you more than you ever wanted to know about Chlamydia, the female orgasm and erectile dysfunction. My writing pseudonym is ‘THE VAGINA WARRIOR,’ a title that I covet. I count Fiji, Cuba, Australia, Sicily and Tanzania as homes away from home and strongly believe in the power of self-love and red lipstick.
I have a tendency to wind up in strange situations: in the middle of a coup in Thailand or inadvertently dating a cage dancer, finding myself working in a Peruvian prison, accidentally offending Dictators, being cast as a Victoria Beckham impersonator on MTV, garage sale-hunting in backwoods Kentucky and landing myself in a Ghanaian hospital. My life lends itself to accidental adventure of the freakish variety and I tend to go along for the ride. I work seriously hard but I’m not a very serious person. I’m a writer, a wanderer and a coffee shop loiterer with an eye towards all things bold, brash, quirky and whimsical.
I’ve been blog-less for 3+ years… mostly because I was waiting to come up with something brilliant. I didn’t. I’ve decided to dive in and hope that my art mimics my life—that is to say, I hope I begin this blogging adventure and inadvertently wander into something FABULOUS.
Wanderatory is a made up word but based on its roots it means something like ‘the school of wandering’ which is a pretty good summation of what my life looks like.
So, for now, this is a blog about me and my wandering, wander-ful life.… I don’t promise that it will be stupendous or life altering or marvelously succinct… But I can assure you there will be more than a fair share of vagina-warrior-ing, incidental adventure and, if we’re VERY lucky, the occasional cage dancer cameo…